- What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? A weekend.
- It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
- What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle? An extra hour of rain.
- What's the definition of a Seattle optimist? A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.
- What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy? Nice tan.
- "I can't believe it," said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?" "Well, that's hard to say," replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."
- Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world. The pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your maker." The president went on TV and announced, "Our scientist have done all they can. The end is near." The mayor of Seattle came on and said, "Due to inclement weather, this year's Seafair Parade will be moved to the top of Queen Anne Hill."
- A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?" The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only 6."
And now for one more inappropriate one...
A curious fellow died one day and found himself in limbo waiting in a long, long line for judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven. Others were led over to Satan, who threw them into a lake of fire.
Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss him or her to one side. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. He strolled over and tapped Old Nick on the shoulder. "Excuse me, there, Your Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, and I couldn't help wondering why you are tossing some people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "
Ah," Satan said with a grin. "Those are Seattle-ites. I'm letting them dry out so they'll burn."